I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
