The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
