Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
