So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
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