It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
