you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
