Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
