He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
