We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
