Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
