Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
