omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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