ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
