we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
