I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
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Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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