I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can't turn off my feet"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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