Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
it hurts more in the daytime
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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