i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
