she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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