i don't like sucking hair
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize