Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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