sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
