the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
