He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
