i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
