Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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