Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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