elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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