kristin has been a bad kristin
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
