I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
