so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
