thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
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Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
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We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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