Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
