...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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