Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So. Much. Porn.
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