Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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