belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
you traded sex for a burrito?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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