ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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