Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
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This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize