So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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