Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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