I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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