Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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