He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
