I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
