so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
As shirtless as possible
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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