I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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