Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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