now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
