I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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