Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
