Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
love makes seman taste better
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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