Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm both gender and math confused
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
