I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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