She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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