Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
