I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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