Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
