I'm going to jail i love you
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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