If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
