oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
