Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
