Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Randomize
