Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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