So drunk its hurt
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
