anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
