I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
