I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
