Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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