we're chasing vodka with high fives
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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